Logo

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

15.06.2025 03:31

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

Are today’s baseball pitchers faster than a few years ago, or is it that radar guns have improved and get the pitch speed as it is released rather than as it reaches the plate?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By taking turns talking.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

Will you share your wife? Can she take both of us at the same time?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.